Food that Flopped - and how we laughed about it later

I have not always been a good cook. I flinch writing that just now, but it is unfortunately true. I've always liked to cook, I just wasn't as skilled as I should have been starting out.

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There were many kitchen mishaps in the beginning. Strawberry jam that somehow missed the jell stage and went straight for a crystallized mass melded with the bottom of the pan. Endless meals involving hot dogs (cringe) and packaged macaroni and cheese (blech). But I would have to say that Thanksgiving 1996 was my not so finest moment.

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My ambition has never overshot my ability as much as it did that day.

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It was my first turkey. The instructions seemed easy enough. Never mind the fact that I had never even cooked a whole chicken let alone it's much larger counterpart - details were unimportant. I followed all of the instructions, save those that admonished that the turkey should be well thawed. The bird had been in the refrigerator for 2 whole days, and being a Thanksgiving novice, I though that would be enough.

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At the appointed time, I pulled the pasty poultry from the oven, a bit perplexed that it did not have the same healthy glow as the turkeys did in the advertisements. All the same, I shrugged and put the platter on the table. To this day, I'm surprised the bird didn't hop right off the table and make a run for it when my husband valiantly tried to carve it.

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There have been many other Thanksgiving turkeys since that fateful day in November. But that is the one that everyone remembers.

A Piece of Cake

I can't say it was honestly a piece of cake, but here is the the fruit of my labors for the week:
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Back in November, I was asked if I would possibly consider doing a wedding cake. I do not do wedding cakes. I have a deep and abiding admiration for those who do, but other than a few birthday cakes I'm not a great cake decorator. This posed a challenge, and I hesitated, but agreed to make the cake.
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Several weeks of planning, several days of baking and several hours of decorating have now passed. The cake has been assembled and dismembered today. I'm pleased with the results, and learned some useful lessons along the way, but do not think I will be going into the cake making business anytime soon!
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Have a great weekend!

Chock Full o' Links

This very rainy weekend was perfect for getting some cooking done.
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On Friday, my daughter's math class celebrated Pi Day by eating pie. I should have explained earlier, but Pi Day is actually today, March 14. The peanut butter pie recipe that went to school with my daughter was this recipe from The Pioneer Woman's fabulous cooking site. It has been a great go-to recipe for when I need something in a hurry.
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Yesterday evening, our church had a terrific soup social followed by a bluegrass concert from a great group of men. The dinner consisted of many different types of soups, sandwiches and appetizers. I decided to go with an appetizer, so I made these bacon wrapped jalapeno thingies also from The Pioneer Woman. The best part is that is their actual name.
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Today, it is wet, rainy and flooding, and I am trying to console myself after managing to wreak havoc in my kitchen. So far, I have broken a glass, a mug and a plate - not even all at the same time. For lunch, we are having home-made macaroni and cheese. Guess where that recipe came from? Yep. The Pioneer Woman.
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I think tomorrow night's dinner is going to have to be something along the lines of a nice, healthy salad. Wonder if The Pioneer Woman has a recipe for that? Just kidding!

Kitchen Disasters - Christmas Edition

Every Christmas morning, I try to make something nice for breakfast. Something nice, that is, that doesn't require a lot of time to cook in the morning.
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Two years ago, I made a sausage strata. I don't care for eggs, but my family seemed to like it. Last year, we went traditional and had pancakes and bacon. This year, I wanted something easier - preferably sweet.

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My mother heard about a recipe for monkey bread that seemed easy enough. Frozen dinner rolls served as it's base and needed to be prepared the evening before so that it could thaw and rise overnight. I looked for such a recipe on the internet and was thrilled when I found one. The instructions called for one package of frozen dinner rolls - how simple!
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I assembled my monkey bread on Christmas eve before bed. Momentarily, I wondered exactly how many rolls the recipe called for. My package of dinner rolls seemed a bit large for my bundt pan. Shaking away the nagging voice of reason, I continued on my merry monkey bread making way.
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Christmas morning arrived, and after the gifts were unwrapped and marveled over, I set out to the kitchen to pre-heat the oven. My husband beat me to the counter and hesitantly asked if perhaps I had not read the recipe correctly. Admittedly, the bread DID puff a bit more over the edge of the pan than I would have liked, but I put it in the oven anyway and set the timer. What follows may well have made Christmas history in our house.

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This is what greeted me when I took a quick peak to check on breakfast's progress. Oh my!

The timer went off and it was time to survey the damages. By the way, that sound you hear is my bundt pan screaming for help.

Outside of the oven, it looks like some odd sea creature bent on taking over the world, one kitchen at a time.

Mercifully, I did use the jaws of life to free my poor misused bundt pan from it's yeasty captor. Somehow the monkey bread looked even worse at that point.

I was able to salvage the mess by trimming away the bottom part of the bread and mixing up a bit more "sticky" for the rolls. As it turns out, the package of dinner rolls called for in the recipe contained 12-14 rolls, not, as luck would have it, the 30 roll package that I used.
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I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

New Addition #3

In a moment nearly as monumental as Pa Ingalls presenting the brand new cookstove to Ma Ingalls, my darling husband and father brought home our much anticipated new stove. I was so excited to make supper for my family this evening. In honor of the momentous occasion, I tried this new recipe from The Pioneer Woman - http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/09/delicious-hominy-casserole/

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The kids were wary of the strange new stuff. I'm so glad they are past the dramatic reactions to new food, though. They did try it and while they did not rave over it, they did eat it. It was the first time my husband and I had eaten hominy. It was different, but very, very good! Perfect for a cool-ish, drizzly evening at home.

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I am so glad to have a working oven again!

Who Turned on the Heat?

Until just a week or so ago, we had been blessed with a very mild and pleasant summer and now we are having typical August weather, you know, the kind where you can either drink a glass of water or inhale it. This weather drains the energy right out of me, making me want to channel Scarlett O'Hara and drink lemonade on the veranda while fanning myself. Unfortunately, that is not an option available to me as I don't have a veranda (just kidding). Our family has spent several evenings huddled around the air conditioner and fighting the dogs for the cool air. Even though our dogs raced in Florida, they are convinced that they would melt into a puddle of greyhound should they ever be forced to endure any temperature above 75 degrees.

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As we chill on these steamy evenings, we have been entertained by the sweet sounds of my daughter practicing clarinet for marching band. Midnite loves it when she sees the instrument case come out - she sings (howls) along with the music. I can honestly say I have the only dog in town who can hit the high notes in The Star Spangled Banner. Memo to self, though, don't take her to any sporting events - it might be potentially embarrassing! I will try to get a picture.

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In other news (yeah, I know, calling it "news" is rather exaggerated), look for a post in the near future where I bend the rules of nature and conduct a mad scientist type of experiment in my kitchen. It was an unfortunate day in my family when I first heard of a freak of nature known as the "kool aid pickle" or "koolickle". Long have I had a love affair with pickles, and as a child, I was even known to drink the juice from the pickle jar - despite my grandmother's dire warning that I would "dry up my blood". A kool aid pickle is a dill pickle whose pickle juice has been swapped for double strength kool aid. **I'll wait a minute while you all digest that fact** Yes, I did say kool aid - whatever flavor you wish. I currently have a jar marinating in the refrigerator. They are not disgusting. I don't know how to describe the flavor, but they are not disgusting. My plan is to make people try them and take their picture for their reactions.

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Hmmm. This may go down as the most random and disjointed post ever. Or not. Stay tuned.

Sewin' and Bakin'

I splurged a bit and bought one of Anna Maria Horner's new sewing patterns. I loved the way the Socialite Dress looked and had a terrific day with my daughter shopping for fabric for some new dresses. This pattern was so easy - and a lot of fun to put together.

We're both really happy with how it turned out. It is so satisfying to sew something that actually looks like the photo on the cover of the pattern.

While reading one of my favorite blogs, The Pioneer Woman, I found instructions for these adorable little cupcake bites. Here is the link for the instructions -

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/03/quick-and-easy-cupcake-bites/

All in all, a very fun weekend!

Mish Mash

Four day weekends rock! I've managed to get a lot done so far, and I've had so much fun doing it.

Yesterday, I discovered another wonderful homemade household cleaner that was easy and worked great. It is kind of like soft scrub, and it is an excellent degreaser to boot. Just mix 1/4 cup baking soda, 1 tablespoon dish soap and enough white vinegar to make a creamy paste. This stuff worked wonders on my stove top and I just used a bit of vinegar and water spray to shine it up afterwards.

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Last evening we hosted our new Dinner 8's group for this year and served The Pioneer Woman's Lasagne recipe:

with tutorial : http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/06/the_best_lasagn/

printable pdf recipe: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/recipes/best-lasagna-ever.pdf

It just such an easy recipe to put together and consistantly turns out good - and makes terrific leftovers.

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This morning the patterns that I ordered from Make It Perfect (located in Australia) came in the mail - only a little over a week after I ordered them.

I have one skirt completed already! Gotta love easy sewing projects, especially since my dining room curtains were a dismal failure. Hopefully I'll post some finished project pictures tomorrow.