Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Score - Life 157 Me 0

So, this week didn't go so well.
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At all, really.
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Felt ill, went to doctor, got some medicine, slept a lot, felt ill, went to emergency room, got lots of tests, got new medicine and now I feel a bit better. It's going to be something I'll be dealing with for awhile and its no fun, so prayers would be much appreciated. Who knew panic attacks have very little to do with actually being nervous about anything? It's like someone flipped the override switch on the adrenaline factory which is scary and exhausting - like a being roller coaster that you can't get off.
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In the middle of all of the drama and pharmaceuticals, I got to go see Chonda Pierce!!!! At long last!!! I've been waiting since February! She is so much fun and very, very real about her struggles with depression and an extremely difficult childhood. As my mom said, "She makes you laugh and cry all at once." We had a group of about 30 women attending the concert, which made it even more fun. It was an excellent girl's night out and much needed.
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Hope everyone had a better weekend than I did! God is bigger than anything any of us are facing and I know He's got this under control!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Memo to Self

Memo to Self:

RE: Weekend

URGENT!

I am lead to understand that you are going to accompany the youth on an overnight trip to Acquire the Fire. I felt I should remind you of a few things before you leave.
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First of all, you will have a three hour van ride. Please go before you leave if you don't want a repeat of last year's mad dash to a McDonald's rest room. (Also, don't drink a bottle of water on the way there.)
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Second, it will be LOUD. Numb eardrums are just the price you pay for extra enthusiastic worship music. Accept the fact that Sara Groves is probably not going to be on the worship schedule. It's going to be alright.
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Third, a 1:00 a.m. bedtime is going to hurt. Something with caffeine in it is going to be necessary for breakfast. Lots of caffeine.
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Fourth, it is going to be awesome! Enjoy!
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Yours sincerely,
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Me

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Embarrassing Moments (Rerun)

I originally posted this story in May 2009, but as I found myself telling this story again recently, I thought that maybe I would repost it just for fun.

We all have moments like these. I've worn inside out shirts to church. Sleep deprived, I wore a crepe-y thin skirt to work (with a slip) only to find that through the miracle of static cling - the slip had migrated so far north as to become completely useless.

These however pale in comparison to what I'm about to share.
The year after we purchased our house, we came to the extremely unpleasant realization that our roof had reached the age of retirement. Small leaks had alerted us that the roof needed a check up, but one night, around 2 a.m., my husband and I awoke to a very unwanted shower. There was a torrential downpour going out outside, we're talking ark weather people. Water was leaking through our bedroom ceiling, hitting the blades of the ceiling fan and flinging cold rainwater directly onto our heads. It was lovely - really. Suddenly awake, hubby and I rushed upstairs to the attic, fully expecting to see nothing but sky judging from the river rushing into our bed. Luckily, we were quickly able to isolate the leak, which wasn't very big, but still letting in a lot of water. I'm sorry to say that neither my husband or myself are very personable people in the wee hours of the morning. Our conversation mainly consisted of snarling and whining and failed attempts at rigging something to stop the water from reaching the wiring running across the attic ceiling. For probably the twentieth time, my husband said, "This isn't working. Don't we have anything else?" In desperation, I ran downstairs to search the kitchen and bathroom and stumbled across an idea, a rather inspired idea, I thought. Rushing back to the attic, where the poor man was standing holding a soaking wet towel against the ceiling, I proudly held out my hands and displayed my emergency roof repair solution. Recoiling, he exclaimed that there must be some other way. Any other way. Being the perfectly submissive wife that I am, I told him if he had any better ideas - use them. Surprisingly, my epiphany worked. The ceiling was temporarily patched and we quickly went back to sleep. I called the roofer the next morning and scheduled an estimate later that week. Fortunately, it did not rain during that time and we temporarily forgot about our ordeal. Until, that is, the roofer and my hubby went up to the attic to check out the ceiling and found three maxi pads duct taped over the leak. The two men descended the stairs red faced and returned to the attic with some, um, more appropriate leak-patching materials.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Nightmare No More

To preface this post, I do not like horror movies - never have, never will. The closest thing to a scary movie I've seen in a theater is The Sixth Sense, and even that I watched through my fingers most of the time. I don't like to be scared. I like movies where the endings are happy, and with the same number of characters at the end that it had in the beginning.
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But, since I don't live completely under a rock, I have to admit this cracked me up:

My daughter and I went out to lunch and this is the pen they gave me to sign with. It's so nice to know that he has reformed and become a businessman. I just wonder what he does? Manicurist? Sleep technician? Fashion Designer? Dermatologist?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Laugh Out Loud Funny

Here's a funny, funny video to get through the end of the week. Chonda Pierce is hilarious!
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I know it's a bit long, but trust me, it is worth every second!