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Today, my children set off for their first day of school. I tried not to flinch when I realized that next year, my daughter sets off for high school - ouch! How, exactly, did that happen so quickly? I'm stumped.
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Over the past two years, we have found ourselves talking about subjects that I felt ill prepared for. All of those baby books I read (seems like just yesterday, too), did not prepare me on how to discuss intimacy, relationships and marriage with an impressionable pre-teen/teenager. I still read about parenting - books, articles, websites- I just feel less sure about what I'm doing. Throughout infancy and toddlerhood, life was kind of like a checklist. Rolling over - check. Sitting up - check. Walking - check. Talking - check. See what I mean? Teenagers throw curveballs that leave parents asking, "What just happened here?" One of those curveballs came for us when our daughter asked us to set a "dating age" for her. Not that she wanted to date right now, she just wanted to know what we were thinking. Quite honestly, we were thinking sometime between the ages of 25-30, but she didn't buy it. Had to try, I guess. Since she threw down the "d" word, my husband and I decided some heart to heart discussions were in order so that when she hits 25 and starts dating, she is ready (okay, maybe not 25. We're willing to discuss 21). The following list is some of the advice I've dispensed over the past couple of years:
- Faith is Important - You can't fake faith. Marrying someone who does not share your faith is a difficult road to travel. When two people share a love of the Lord, it brings them closer together than they could ever be on their own.
- No Fixer-Uppers - Do not take on a relationship with the mind set that you can "fix" him. What you see is what you get. No one wants to be a project. Make sure you are happy with the person as is.
- Do Nothing - There should be nothing you need to do to be "good enough" for your spouse. They should love and accept you warts and all. Think of it as the reverse fixer-upper. Yes, you should want to the best you can be in any relationship - but no sentence that begins, "I would love you if _______" is going to end well. If you are not good enough for that person, they are never going to be good enough to deserve you.
- Your Love is a Gift - and anyone in a relationship with you should treat it as such.
- Marriage is for Better or Worse - enjoy the better and brace yourself for the worse. Checkbooks bounce. Appliances break. Cars crash. Injuries happen. If you know the hard times happen and work through them together, the good times are that much sweeter.
That's all I have for now. She is only 13, and I know we still have deep waters to wade through as far as relationship advice goes. Fortunately, God sees to it that we're not in it alone - parenting OR marriage.
A date and time were set, clothing was brought in and sorted.
Rooms were re-appointed as changing areas.
And then the "shopping" began. It was fun to see clothing picked up at last year's swap show up again and walk out the door with a new owner.
At the end of the day, everything left over was donated to charity. Win (get rid of outgrown clothes), Win (maybe find new clothes), Win (donate to charity)..jpg)

