Monday, May 18, 2009

Monday Morning Hypochondria

It's Monday. Again. Already. Hard to believe, right?


This morning when the alarm went off, my mind immediately went into whine-mode. But, despite the fact that I hit the snooze button a record breaking number of times, I managed to wake up at a reasonable time. Fortunately for me, one of my children takes after her father and is one of those strange humans known as "a morning person". It generally takes me no less than 30 minutes to shake off my slumber stupor and use my words instead of just grunting in response to any given conversation. Unfortunately for me, my son inherited my glowing morning mood - with a twist. Instead of being non-verbal in the mornings, he starts issuing complaints before he is even fully awake. Morning conversations with him go as follows:
Me: Get up.
Him: My throat is sore.
Me: Get up now.
Him: My stomach hurts.
Me: Get up NOW.
Him: My foot has a cramp.
Me: Seriously, get out of bed right now.
Him: My ear is itchy.
Me: If you are not out of bed in 30 seconds, I am getting cold water to throw on you.
Him: My big toe feels feverish.
Me: (heading to the bathroom for water)
Him: I'm up, I'm up. But I don't feel good. (grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble)
Keep in mind, within 10 minutes of getting out of bed, his complaints are completely forgotten and he is ready to start his day. Surprisingly, his many ailments take their leave if it is Saturday, Sunday, summertime or a school vacation day. Amazing, right?

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