Sunday, February 28, 2010

Perfecting Prayer Time

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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How I wish this months topic were an easy one! This one is downright hard.
I'd love to tell you that my husband and I spend effortless time in prayer together regularly. I'd love to tell you that we spend hours in deep spiritual conversation. But I'd rather be very real with you.

My husband and I both grew up in the church. Both of us grew up going to church with our mothers while our fathers stayed home. His church was very conservative and straight-laced. My church was charismatic and loud. Neither of us grew up with family devotions or organized prayer time.

In the beginning of our marriage, we were quite frankly immature and did not spend a great deal of time thinking about our faith. We were in our early 20s and independent for the first time in our lives. Neither of us were comfortable in the other's church, and the church we were married in was so very different from what we were used to that we sorely neglected our church attendance.

Once we had children, however, the full measure of that responsibility settled in. We prayed as newlyweds, but as parents, we realized that we were going to need to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.

My husband and I do pray, but, other than pre-meal blessings, not together. I have a deeper interest in formal Bible study than he does and he is more apt to casually pick up his Bible than I am. He much prefers to pray silently and I am comfortable with praying aloud. My wish is that we can find more ways in which to spend time in prayer as a couple and more time studying God's word together. We are striving toward that goal, but we have by no means arrived.

Prayer is so very important to our relationship with the Lord. A pastor once used the illustration of a triangle to demonstrate how a couple, both earnestly growing closer to God will grow closer to each other in the process (picture a diagram with God at the top point of the triangle and the man and woman as the lower points. The closer the lower points are to the top point, the closer the lower points are to each other).

So, basically to sum this up, prayer time, as a couple, is an area my husband and I would have to classify as being "under construction".


Anonymous said...

This topic really got me thinking of ways to improve Prayer Time. My Parents are missionaries and I grew up and MK; my husband though is more straitlaced in his prayer so prayer for both of us is a bit different. I guess every couple's is under construction.

Thanks for sharing - I love the way you write. And for stopping by my blog. Blessings!


Bobbi said...

Until very recently, when some stressful events brought us to our knees literally, my husband and I did not pray TOGETHER. Already, we are seeing blessings. My "prayer" marriage is under construction too...I'll pray for you...and you can pray for me...'kay? Have a great day!

Julie The Surrendered Scribe said...

Thank you for your transparency, it's a similar situation for us. With God's grace, we'll all get there!

Faith said...

It is wonderful that you can be so honest. I see you visited my blog earlier today as well. As you read, my husband and I rarely spend time together in prayer....I wish I could say we had deep spiritual discussions and loads of prayer time but...we don't. Like I said tho: we do know the benefits of prayer..the peace it brings to our home....and if there is a major decision, we try to pray together even if it is just a few minutes. I personally think all Christian couples' prayer lives are under construction! none of us have "arrived"....blessings to you!

Anonymous said...

Neither my husband nor I grew up in church. Now, 10 years in, I am on my knees everyday praying for my unsaved husband but I know - without a doubt that he is on the path to salvation as we speak.

I think a lot about the time after he gets up, off his knees - will we pray together? The truth is of course, I do not know. But what I do know is that we're very different and the way we'll go about prayer will be different too! That is ok. I really appreciate your honesty and transparency and I'll be lifting you this week!

Hugs from Canada

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post.:) Have a blessed day, and thank you for stopping by!

bp said...

Thank you for sharing your heart on prayer in marriage today. It does take work and it seems to be one of those areas where we can always all make improvements or find new ways to do things.

God bless you and your marriage.

tonya said...

I know we have gone through cycles where we were closer and then farther away when it came to prayer. I also saw where the Lord worked on each of our hearts together while praying. I like to call them seasons. That way it doesn't seem so frustrating. :)
Great post!

e-Mom said...

"Under construction..." Love it! An honest post. You've conveyed patience and grace, (with no frustration), so my guess is that your prayer life together will take its own course and develop appropriately.

When we try to put pressure on our husbands to be more spiritual it ususally backfires. I don't see that happening for you. Well done!

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, April. :~D

Hugs, e-Mom

Denise said...

Praying for you sweetie.

Susan said...

Great post April!

Thanks so much for stopping by.

I pray you will continue to grow closer to one another.

I loved that illustration. Thanks!!

MyJourneyBack said...

You said it better than I did. I echo your thoughts and feelings. This was challenging for me too.
Thanks for sharing your struggles too. We need to all unit and pray together for each other. This is my first Marriage Monday I look forward to more inspiration and finding new friends that have a common goal.
Have a Blessed Week,

Mac an Rothaich said...

I totally understand. Continue working at it anyhow!

Amydeanne said...

you know underconstruction is better than none at all! Thanks for being real!

Tami Boesiger said...

You are not alone, friend! We struggle to do it too and I found out this week many couples have the same problem. I pray you and your husband are able to establish a new habit of prayer together that enhances your marriage, just as I pray for me and my husband.

Anonymous said...

No matter where we are on the triangle, we are all under construction - and under grace. It's never too late to start, and the rewards are amazing.